Worry not

Has worry become one of those secrets that we've all subconsciously and universally agreed to take to our graves? Well, I'm here to confess that I have spent a lot of my time since my move to Florida worrying. Worrying about what will be. Worrying about how will certain things happen. Worrying about my what my future will look like, worrying about my provision. 

The crazy thing about all the worrying I was doing, I had ended up deceiving myself into thinking that I was controlling what I wanted to happen and was controlling what I didn't want to happen. I had taken on the burden of problems that were clearly out of my control. I had this false idea in my head that I was in control and I wasn't. I kept believing that I was in control of my own burden,  a load. Typically a heavy one according to google dictionary. In reality I had no control over my burden, it was instead controlling me. 

I had spent so much of last night feeling completely burdened until I finally decided that I did not want that for me anymore. I sat up in bed and crossed my legs Indian style, looked up the only instrumental album I had of Bethel music and put on my headphones and meditated. While meditating, I faced the truth about my worries. I faced the gang it created with fear doubt and control who wanted to take me down. But last night, I won. Last night I got the victory. It won't be the last.